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dinner time
Dinnertime can be one of the most important times in the life of your family. You have the perfect opportunity to bring everyone together and bond. Studies show that sharing dinnertime is good for your health as well as your relationships. Start early if you can, even before you have children. Dinner can be a special time between you and your husband. Relax and talk over the issues of the day. Don’t try to hurry through. Discuss your next “date” and start looking forward to the day. It can be as simple as a special rented movie and microwave popcorn. When you have children the dinnertime “tradition” can continue naturally. Include children’s topics in the conversation. Here are some things that are essential if you want dinnertime to evolve into a special relationship time.
- Turn off the TV
- Don’t take phone calls during dinner
- Be sure the same rules apply to both adults and children
- Establish a standard “dinnertime”. Dinner is always at 6pm (or 6:30 or whatever works for your family). As kids get older they will know when to be home for dinner without ever being told.
- Do not use this time to criticize or put anyone on the spot. This is a time for praise and discussion on many and varied topics.
- Be aware of age limitations. Don’t make very young children sit too long.
There are as many ideas of dinner conversations and bonding techniques as there are people to think of them. Some of my favorites include:
- Word of the week. Pick a new vocabulary word and learn the meaning and spelling. Use that word in sentences every night that week. Keep track of who can use it the most and give a special treat at weeks end.
- Ask each person, “Of all the things that happened today, what was your favorite and why?” “What was your least favorite and why?”Remember—no criticizing or belittling any responses.
- Let each child choose something to have for dinner one of the nights. Let them help you prepare it.
- Set the table with a “special plate” for individual recognition. Birthdays are the most obvious use for this plate but be creative. Promotion, gold star at school, learned to tie shoe laces and many many more are all excellent reasons for a special plate. There are red plates especially made for this purpose but you can use any plate that is different from all the others on the table. It needs to be the same plate each time, however, so everyone will come to recognize that something noteworthy has happened just by seeing the plate on the table.
Continue the bonding with clean up chores. One person can clear the table. Another can put away all the leftovers and condiments, and a third can load the dishwasher. Be creative and continue the conversation. Working together can be fun.
If you would like to begin a dinnertime tradition but your kids are older and no one is use to this kind of structure—don’t despair. Start slowly. One or two meals together a week are better than none at all. You can build up a little at a time. Bon Appetite!
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